Was Courtly Love Empowering or Sexist?
A conflicting question of courtly love pertains to the role women took part in. Was this phenomenon an empowerment for women or was it a sexist part of their culture within a patriarchal society?
One of the starting points of courtly love is Andreas Capellanus’ Latin treatise on the “Art of Courtly Love.” Within this treatise, there are misogynistic remarks about women and their “weaknesses.” Capellanus wrote:
- “Woman is commonly found to be fickle, too, because no woman ever makes up her mind so firmly on any subject that she will not quickly change it on a little persuading from anyone. A woman is just like melting wax, which is always ready to take a new form and to receive the impress of anybody’s seal. No woman can make you such a firm promise that she will not change her mind about the matter in a few minutes…Therefore never rely upon a woman’s promise or upon her oath, because there is no honesty in her.”
- “Every woman is likewise stained by the sin of disobedience…Wasn’t it Eve, the first woman, who, although she was formed by the hand of God, destroyed herself by the sin of disobedience and lost the glory of immortality and by her offense brought all her descendants to the destruction of death? Therefore if you want a woman to do anything you can get her to do it by ordering her to do the opposite.”
- “Vainglory also mightly possesses woman, since you cannot find a woman in the world who does not delight in the praise of men alone everything else and who does not think that every word spoken about her has to do with her praise. This fault can be seen even in Eve.”
Capellanus calls women dishonest and vain. He also believes all women are tainted by disobedience because of Eve. These remarks are found in the codified code of behavior for courtly love. It is a guide about love and women, for men, and it is disrespectful towards women. Throughout the treatise, he states good character and being skillful with words will win a woman’s heart, yet his words are malicious about women, the people he is guiding to love.
Courtly love does not focus entirely on women, and in most cases, the most important part is men. The focus is primarily on the way men feel rather than how women feel and their desires. It is men who are expressing their love and their social status that is central to this phenomenon even though women are supposedly the center of the system. Although women are praised for having complete control and power over their suitors’ lives, women are not gaining much from it–other than a courtship and maybe a song if their lover is a troubadour. Also, there is no real authority or power guaranteed when in this position.
Women were not just passive or an object for men, they even challenged gender roles. For example, the trobairitz provided alternatives to the way women’s desires and pleasures were articulated. Since they were being shown through a female lens rather than a male lens (the troubadours). In literature and also courtly performances, women were cross-dressing and portraying themselves in the roles of men.
A challenge in gender roles is the fact that women are supposedly taking the place of feudal lords. She has the status of a feudal lord because previously, chivalry was between a knight and his lord, now this has shifted to being between the knight and his beloved. Now, the woman has masculine qualities because she has some power over a man, but she also has a desirable female body. This causes a challenge to gender roles and represents gender as not being so rigid. Gender is also challenged by men being the ones to suffer from lovesickness instead of the woman.
Courtly love may be sexist towards women because they are in charge of men’s feelings and what might happen to them. For example, men would threaten that if they died from the suffering of lovesickness it would be the woman’s fault because of her beauty or if she did not reciprocate his love confession. They would use guilt and manipulation to gain access to the women and their bodies. This makes the women feel obligated to make the men feel better, even though they are supposed to have power over them and if that was truly the case, they would be able to reject a man.
Women may have been empowered by courtly love because they influenced the literature. Marie de Champagne commissioned and provided the plot and storylines for Chrétien de Troyes’ Lancelot, Knight of the Cart. She and her mother, Eleanor of Aquitaine, influenced Andreas Capellanus’ treatise, “The Art of Courtly Love.” Reading these texts and other romance narratives may have helped women feel like they could have power over men and push back on gender roles. However, we may not truly know that for certain. Women were also empowered by being trobairitz.
Overall, there is more evidence proving courtly love was sexist towards women rather than being empowering for them.